The struggle is real!!

You know once in a while I have this tendency to buy a whole bunch of crap I don’t need. Because it makes me feel freaking fantastic. It makes me fill a void…

So hello… hi.. how are you? My name is Asma and I am a shopohollic. πŸ‘πŸ‘

And I am hoping that a lot of you are shopoholics as well. Coz it’s not fun to be unhealthy alone, We are friends and what’s the number 1 rule of friendship. If I am unhealthy and make bad decisions what you gonna do give me good advise?? *shhmpth* What is this an episode of Full house!! Noo you make worse decisions and we cry together. #lol #bffsforlife

So I just came across this on insta that It’s called a mall coz instead of going to 1 store you are going to “them all”. *mind =blown * #lol love how internet never fails.

So i am walking down the store and i got an armful of 40 items. Like a few tops a few sweaters a few jeans and by a few jeans I mean all the jeans. #duh

Because let’s be real everybody tries out 5 different sizes of exact same jeans. Jeans got so many elements these days we just don’t have a choice.

Low rise, high rise, mid rise, boyfriend jeans, mom jeans. Are these jeans or tidal waves or relationships… what’s going on here..??

Anyway So i walk into the changing rooms with my “40 items” and here is issue number 1.

Sales lady:Ma’am the limit is 6 items only.

Me: sorry what? Oh yea I have like 27.

Sales lady: you can take in 6 items and leave the rest here.

Me: hmm.. I am gonna need all 27.

Sales lady: sorry maam you can’t do that.

Me: No No I am sorry okay. You don’t understand….I am not just holding clothes. I am holding outfits. I am holding creations I have assembled in my mind. I need to try on this sweater with this pair of jeans with this top underneath to make it modest with this scarf and with this pair of shoes with this necklace and with these pair of glasses with this backpack. And you are telling me that there is a limit of only “6 items” No. I don’t accept that.You are making me fail.

In all that argument my scarf acts like a third person and doesn’t stay in place so I drop everything & fix my hijab but it’s so funny because the sales lady is either completely amazed and is staring at me the whole time and the other sales lady quickly looks away as if she has seen some things she shoudnt have. #lol

Sigh. After loosing that battle. I go to the change rooms and here comes issue number 2.

Coz y’all have those curtains that close the change rooms and not the door. Because you think you “FANCY”.

But what you fail to realise is that those curtains never close properly and they are so heavy and big. I am trying to use my force and momentum like back and forth to change this damn thing. But every single time there is that crack that exposes me. 😣

The point of having a change room is so that we get some privacy . But if you up here exposing me. That defeats the purpose.

So now I got to live on the corner of the change room like a kid on time out.😒

Okay i know what you are thinking. Yes.. Sometimes the change room does have a door.

But what you don’t realise is that presents another issue coz the door is so high of the ground. Now my whole lower body is exposed. #Sameproblem

Now i can’t even throw your clothes on the floor after I am done trying them on.
My entire lower half is being judged. πŸ˜’ #rudemuch

What if I drop something and now have to pick it up.. now everything is exposed. I am short. Like how is this suppose to work for people who aren’t tall. Not everyone is tall. I ain’t no Kendal Jenner. #discrimination

Sigh…Now we move on to issue number 3.. ughhh….all the restrictions.

So I went to H&M and I wanted my sister to come with me to the change rooms and they were like “No” She cannot come with you.

I was like what the hell. What if I need help. I am all up in this change room trying to zip up a dress and I can’t do it.

Like you really think I am going to steal something with my sister. Like I understand your concern but let me be real for a second.

You already counted all my 6 items and now you have that information everywhere. You gave me a lil tab that says 6. You put a 6 on the door. You put a 6 on my hanger. You put a 6 on your clip board. Like CALM DOWN!

I am just here satisfying my addiction! #Shopohollicproblems

With Love & Peace
-Asma

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Introverted Extrovert!

Are you an Introvert or an Extrovert?

I think i am both.

I love being around people. But also hate being around them.

I’ll go out, vibe and meet new people. But it comes with an expiration,i feel the need to recharge instantly.

If you’re an introverted extrovert like me, you know how confusing this is for people. Everyone expects an introvert to be shy and reclusive. And we can be, but we also like to get out there and mix n mingle. When we’re β€œon”, we are sociable, and friendly. When we’re β€œoff”, we hurry home to recharge in solitude.

Even though we spend way more time introverting than following the crowd, people only see our outgoing side. They don’t realize that our social batteries are drained very quickly.

I remember i wanted to be invited everywhere..and got offended when I din’t. πŸ™ŠΒ #lol

But at the same time i din’t want to go anywhere.

Like.. don’t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

I mean yes.. I like socialising,but there is nothing I love more than chilling at home.

oh & I am the most excited when plans get cancelled. Coz I never wanted to go in the first place.

I greatly appreciate silence for instance my ideal conversation at a social event

Someone at social event:……….

Me:…….

Someone at social event:………

Me: ……….

*best conversation ever*

But was I always like that..??

Parties dint really excite me, its far too many people that I am ready to interact with.

They just make me anxious. And being in the fashion industry that dint really fly well for me.

I remember feeling so worried that I know I would be so tired after experiencing all that stimulation. And I just knew it would drain me of the precious energy that I need to feel fully alive the next day.

I don’t think anyone could truly relate to what i was feeling.

And once I mustured up the courage to open my door and be around everybody. I actually wasn’t really that shy at all. I am okay with public speaking, Like I would chit chat with everybody and make decent conversation. It was like I was rediscovering myself.

I was never the life of the party but I definitely dint make it worse. Until that is… I was ready to leave.

I felt a pang of emotion come over me. I heard my body screaming at me. Asma you are done here. Abort mission. Retreat back to safety and retrieve back to your quiet. So you can feel happy and alive tomorrow.

In a world where we reward extroverts, introverts can feel out of place and disconnected.

Why can’t I be more enthusiastic? Why do I feel so reserved when asked to go to a party?why do I rack my brains in order to get out of social situations? Why am I not like everyone else?

After a while I finally allowed my self the judgemental eyes when I said i don’t want to go to a party.

At first I was not super confident in my delivery. I would say things like I am not well or I have prior commitments. I would create these excuses and stories and not say my truth.

My big goal is to finally be able to say ” I just don’t want to go. I want to stay at home.

We don’t need to feel shame and guilt for not being outgoing in a society that praises those who are.

We have some truly incredible qualities like deep thinking, strong connection,self awareness,ability to enjoy alone time.Being able to truly listen.Make powerful decision.Calm and deliberate speaking. Working alone and much more.

Stand strong in your personality traits and view them as strength.Just because you are not naturally assertive outgoing or life of the party doesn’t mean you can’t make it big.

Your most natural state of being is where you are going to feel the most in flow and the most authentically yourself.

You can shine strongly regardless of how you identify yourself.

So in conclusion…

Ain’t no party like….there actually being no party and you are at home in your clean pajamas about to get into fresh bedsheets!😘

With Love & Peace

-Asma

Woman in Saudi Arabia

The Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman has taken a great step for woman to modernise saudi society.

At the time of Prophet Mohammed (Saw) women had the rights, they had the right to go anywhere they want no questions asked. Ofcourse the choice of ride was different coz hellooo… it was 1400 years ago!

A camel ride used 1400 years ago as a mode of transport is equivalent to a car in the modern world.

Some Muslim countries are purely following laws created by themselves and are not Islamic at all.

Sigh!! The dilemma of mixing culture with religion. I Wish everyone understood the difference.

Last year Saudi Arabia allowed women to drive and today this rule is going to be implemented.πŸŽ‰πŸŽŠπŸŒž

Finally the wait is over. πŸ‘πŸ‘One of the worlds most restrictive countries for womans rights has some thing to celebrate .

Finally the voices have been heard.

Woman are standing up for themselves and that has given them the right to DRIVE.πŸŽ‰πŸŽŠπŸ‘

But Saudi was not and is not an easy place to be a woman.

Back in the 70’s and 80’s A woman needed a letter of permission from her male gaurdian to go anywhere alone.

Openeing a bank account is a mission. You can drive a car but you can’t just buy it, without the permission from your male gaurdian you can’t open your own bank account. These rules are implemented due to saudis guardianship system.

This means every woman has a male gaurdian who makes crucial decisions for her.

So you can drive to the airport but good luck getting on the plane without your male guardians permission. πŸ€”

Wanna get married, you need the ‘okay’ from your male guardian and that could be your 4 year old little brother. what happens if that ends badly??? you need permission from your husband to divorce him.πŸ€”

Your Mc Donald your starbucks, families and single males have to sit in different areas and all woman have to sit in family areas. If not, you could be arrested.πŸ˜‘

Being able to drive is great. But Saudi is still very much a man’s world.

Having said that.. it truly is an historic day for woman in saudi and I hope and pray that they get more good changes ahead.

All the love and support to the woman in Saudi Arabia. May you see a better tomorrow.

Surround your self with people that push you to do better.

No drama or negativity. Just higher goals and higher motivation. Good times and positive energy. No jealousy or hate.

Simply bringing out the absolute best in each other.

With Love & Peace
-Asma

Eid!

This Ramadan came the quickest and left the the quickest.

It feels just like it started the other day. And left us so soon, I was just not ready for that kind of heart break.

It really is sad that Ramadan has ended. May Allah accept all our fasts and make us witness the next Ramadan.

After Ramadan comes Eid with all its glory and hapiness.πŸŽ‰πŸŽŠ

But if my skin allergies don’t clear up. Then Eid at my house will officially be cancelled.πŸ˜‘ #justkidding. I can’t cancel Eid. That’s the only time I get Eidi.

Shopping for Eid actually is so stressfull that you end up buying 2-3 outfits and then decide in the morning what to wear.

But Sometimes that also doesn’t work out like How dare this outfit I planned in my head not look good. Disrespectful as hell.#lol

When you wake up on Eid day and start eating, it feels so wrong and confusing & The first breakfast you have after Ramadan feels sooo haram.

Also it doesn’t feel like Eid if you don’t have sheerkhurma for breakfast.

So you legit dress up in your Eid outfit to just sit at home on your sofa.And the the kids that come to visit for Eid have a better phone than you and end up getting more Eidi.πŸ˜‘Β #firstworldproblems

Oh and it’s the worse when the aunties don’t give you Eidi coz you have become old. I meanΒ  I really need it now more than I did when i was a kid. #justsaying

Your mom talking to distant relatives on the phone and saying “She is right here.do you want to talk to her”.”why you doing this to me please don’t do this.”

And then the moment of extreme helplessness arrives when your mom asks you to give company to your relatives😒 like NO please. I can’t do this.

You know the Eid biryani was so good that you can’t even move after eating. #blessed

So the plans for Eid are to travel to YouTube then Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and landing on Netflix.

Alhumdullilah 25 hand shakes. Almost 60 hugs and AED 15 Eidi. #stillcounting

Eid Mubarak!πŸ’›πŸ˜Š

With Love & Peace

– Asma

Woman’s rights!!

It’s a very common thing for men.

They think our ideas sound so much better when they rephrase it and present it as their own.πŸ˜‘ (I am not saying all men are like that.)

Feminism isn’t about making woman stronger. Women are already strong. It’s about changing the way the world perceives that strength.

You are a woman in a man’s world, Lifting the weight of your dreams with your hands that according to some people are incapable of doing anything.

I often get asked by people “why you such a feminist??Islam has given all the rights to a woman”

Yes, I agree Islam has given all the rights to woman but it’s high time you muslim men Implement it, and not just for your convenience!!

Just because you are a man doesn’t make you superior to anyone.

Islam teaches us equal rights for men and women both.

If your version of me respecting you involves me disrespecting myself, then you can go.

Oppressed, inferior, and unequal – for many people, these are the first words that come to mind when thinking about women in Islam. These stereotypes confuse Islam with cultural practices and fail to recognize that Islam has empowered women with the most progressive rights since the 7th century.

Our beloved prophet Muhammad’s wife Khadijah was a wealthy, successful, independent, well-renowned businesswoman in Makkah.

She was actually Muhammad (saw)’s BOSS, which is how they got acquainted in the first place. After they were married, she continued her business, and after Muhammad (saw) became a Prophet, she used her profession to finance the cause of Islam.

She was no joke. She was no fluke. She was, and the Prophet repeatedly tells us this, one of the ideal Muslim women of all time. She is legit our Queen. She proposed marriage to our prophet.

Let’s not forget that. In the modern world, she is still our Inspiration and role model.

Islam honored women in society by elevating them and protecting them with unprecedented rights. Islam gave women the right to education, to marry someone of their choice, to retain their identity after marriage, to divorce, to work, to own and sell property, to seek protection by the law, to vote, and to participate in civic and political engagement.

Islam empowers woman with honor and dignity. Don’t settle for anything less.

With Love and Peace
-Asma

Let the real games begin!!

Gather around people. Let’s all play a game of Millennial monopoly the rules are pretty simple, you start with no money, you can’t afford anything. The board is on fire for some reason and everything is your fault.

If we ever want to have a serious conversation with someone.. All society hears is social media, smart phone, social media, smart phone, Social media,smart phone, social media, smart phone, social media, smart phone, social media, smart phone, Social media, social media, social media, social media, social media

Millennials are commonly defined as being the generation from 1987 to 1997. So right now the millennials are between the ages of 20 to 30.

Millennials are currently the largest population and historically the most educated generation. #fact

The job hunt has become the millennial version of the hunger games without the cameras or any interaction with celebrity attention.#lol

Many want to blame millennials on the fact that we are entitled and lazy, sure we have things to improve upon as we reset our expectations and timeline.

When I look at millennials. I don’t see a generation entitled to success. We are obsessed with it. And for good reasons.

We don’t know how to fail. And even when we do fail we’re pretty sure we actually won. We grew up in a competitive, bell curve, wait list society. Fighting for a spot on the team, in a school, at a job, for the win. We don’t want blue ribbons because we feel entitled to them. We want them because we have been in a cage match to win them our entire lives. Now the stakes to win those blue ribbons are slightly higher.

We aren’t dumb, we are adaptable. But adapting to a messed up world, messes you up. Whether you remain functional or not.

They love complaining about millennials, yet we are the ones who had to try to break into the work force during/post recession. We had to find our own way because the last generation failed us miserably. But please go on about Millennials.

I have been denied a job which I am fully qualified for just because I wear a scarf, look too young, don’t have 5 years experience for a entry level job, look confident, demand a reasonable salary, require visa(Need to be on father or husband visa) i am over qualified… the list just goes on

Yes yes.. you read that right. Living in a Muslim country and being denied a job because you wear a Head scarf . Well done world. WELL DONE.πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘ Go take a corner seat.

Sometimes I don’t feel like getting out of bed but then I don’t have a choice, we need to work twice as hard just to get a seat at the table.

As a women of color, being petite, wearing a head scarf & coming under the bracket of Millennials its twice as hard for me to prove my self to the world or be taken seriously.

Nobody takes you seriously and Instantly judges you for your capabilities and have the lowest of expectations.πŸ˜‘

Remember when we wanted to be adults so bad. Now just look at us. Just look.

I am tired. I am broke. I am adulting.

With Love & Peace
– Asma

Labelling Modest Fashion?

It’s ramadan season in the fashion world as well.

Where ever you go there is a Ramadan collection or a modest collection to please you.

If you know me,you know shopping is my cardio.

My walk of shame is going back for a shopping cart after realizing I can’t carry 12 items in my arms through the store.

But even though I have spent all day at the mall, couldn’t find a decent modest outfit.πŸ€”

Modest wear may be different from person to person. What is modest for me may not be modest for you.

There is still a foginess around what it means to be a modest dresser.

Modest fashion can describe varying degrees of covering up on purpose. The decision can be due to religio-ethenic fullfillment or to attain a certain aesthetic and a level of ease or simply coz you want to dress modest.

International brands have picked up on this trend and have created collections catering to modest woman Brands such as DKNY, Tommy Hilfiger, D&G, Zara, Mango, H&M, New Look, forever 21 etc

But everywhere you go it’s a line of lacey traditional jalabiya’s or kaftans labelled as modest wear.

Modest dressers don’t necessarily come form Arab or Asian decent. So why is modest wear associated so much with culture?

We are all too familiar with this concept and we know this is easily available in the local markets but the high street brands would charge us double the price and yet it has nothing special.

I wonder how it goes down at their back office “Let’s include a jaqaurd fabric in the Ramadan collection, oh even better let’s make a kaftan out of it” #nailedit πŸ˜’

I mean if you want to do it. Do it right, don’t just half ass it. It looks like they are not consulting anyone who actually knows and leads a modest lifestyle.

Fashion conscious muslim women in the form of bloggers, designers & stylist have been taking center stage for a good few years showing that modesty and fashion can coincide with faith.

But with barely a nod of applaud or recognition until these high street brands put a stamp on a very traditional middle Eastern style and claim it’s originality. #notimpressed

All we need is you to add some length to the skirts and sleeves and make the tops long enough for it to cover the bare minimum.

The maxi dress looks great.. yayye I found something… only to realise it’s backlessπŸ˜‘

I mean if you can make a shirt that I don’t have to wear with another shirt. That’d be greatπŸ‘

If you can find for me any modest dress that doesn’t need layering or alterations, that’s gonna be a keeper.

And If I had a dollar for each time I picked up a maxi skirt only to realise it has long slits at the side😀

Modest fashion shoudnt even be labelled. It should seamlessly be intergrated into the industry.

With love and peace

– Asma